Make Your "I Do's" Personal!

Any wedding you attend is most likely going to go in the same direction... There's the pre-ceremony music playing as guests find their seat for the next 30 or so minutes, then the processional, then the ceremony (where most likely, the bride is given away by someone special, the introduction by the officiant, the vows, the rings, and the kiss, followed by the recessional and the dismissal of guests to the reception hall).  They are all pretty similar. So, how do we customize our ceremony to fit our relationship's unique style? Is it possible to make it different without leaving out tradition? Do we even want tradition? Well if you're looking for some things that you can do to make your gathering a little more intimate and personal, just keep reading! 

▹ Write your own vows: I know. This seems a little cliché, but it is effective! I wouldn't go on writing a 2 page essay to read aloud that drags on and on. Short, sweet and to the point is just as beautiful as lengthy compositions about how you feel about your soulmate. 

▹ The Reading portion of your ceremony: Once your officiant opens the ceremony, you could have them add in something meaningful to you such as a poem, an excerpt of Biblical scripture, or a short story specific to your relationship. This is less for your audience to hear and more for you as the wedded couple to share for decades to come as you look back on your wedding day. 

▹ Do a Unity ritual: Really, having a ceremony is a ritual in itself, but adding a quick binding ritual to the event will really emphasize how meaningful the bond is that you and your spouse share. 

    - A few examples: 

    ▹ Tree-Planting: Husband and wife add soil to a potted tree to possibly be replanted in their own backyard! The 

      planting of the tree symbolizes that if one nurtures and cares for their marriage, they will experience 

      growth and the roots will strengthen in their lives together.  

    ▹ Wine Ceremony: Take a sip from a single glass of wine, one sip for the times of bitterness and one for the

       times of sweetness. Symbolic to the promise that the marriage  will thrive in the good times and the bad!

    ▹ Hour Glass Ceremony: Similar to the Sand Ritual, however, add the sands into an hourglass, and 

       every year turn the hourglass over. As time passes, the different sands mix even more with each turn. 

    ▹ Handfasting Ceremony: It is an old timeless tradition and of course meaningful! Use ropes or 

       chords, or according to Maria Northcott, you don't need anything but your hands! This ritual consists 

       of wrapping the ropes around the wrists, binding them together to symbolize that these hands you are 

       holding are the ones that will be holding you for a lifetime, that you are becoming one and you are

       also joining your families together. 

    ▹ Rope Passing Ceremony: This involves knotted ropes being passed through the crowd of guests during the

       ceremony, where will their blessings and love into the marriage and pray over the couple. This one might be 

       difficult to do during Covid times, but maybe have the closest relatives or a couple of family 

       representatives involved so as not to have the entire crowd touch the ropes. I love the idea of having

       the matriarchs/patriarchs of each family pass the rope! 

    ▹ Washing of Feet Ceremony: This one is more biblical, but it could be used in a non-religious ceremony as 

       well. In the Bible, Jesus washed his disciples feet. This was something very symbolic of his love for people, 

       as in biblical times, feet were to be washed before entering homes because they were seen as dirty (and 

       usually were dirty). It is a sign of love, but also a sign of submission to your love for one another. It can be 

       used as an analogy of how, as a spouse, you will love, care for, and show kindness to your spouse, even 

       when it isn't ideal. 

    ▹ Picture Painting Ceremony: Have a canvas ready at the altar with two cups of paint for the bride and groom

       pour across the canvas in unison. The painting itself might be a keepsake the couple could hang in their new

      home, but the meaning behind the painting would be one of unity, signifying that they are creating a

      masterpiece together, and living in a permanent bond, just as the paint is permanently bonded to the canvas!

There are so many more ritualistic ways to demonstrate the unity between the husband and wife in their ceremony. The most important thing to remember is to find something that will never escape your memory because it was so intimate and personal to you and your spouse! When we personalize our wedding day, it truly allows us to look back, especially in the hard times, and cherish our spouse even more. 

Resources: 

▹ https://www.asweetstart.com/blog/unity-wedding-ceremony-ideas

▹ https://www.marthastewart.com/7925957/wedding-ceremony-rituals-unity?utm_source=pinterest.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=social-share-gallery&utm_content=20200806&slide=550b6bee-e102-49f6-a04d-0a2838da164b#550b6bee-e102-49f6-a04d-0a2838da164b

How to Plan a Wedding in a Pandemic- Advice from A Wedding Coordinator

There is an endless array of issues that brides must take into consideration when planning the biggest event of their lives, and I am sure that many never expected a pandemic to be one of them! Planning a wedding is no easy feat in itself, but add the possibility that someone could get sick at your reception, and you have a recipe for extra worry. The infection numbers are scary, and no end seems to be directly in sight. So what do you do as a bride to prepare for a wedding in the midst of a pandemic!? 

First, do not panic 

This is completely out of your control! It is easier said than done, but remaining focused on the end goal of the planning process will help to ease your mind. Don't get caught up in the panic of society. Instead, keep thinking beautiful thoughts of your wedding day. As long as you are married 24 hours late, you have nothing to fear! It will be an amazing day for you no matter the external circumstances! 

discuss in-depth plans with your vendors 

When hiring vendors for your wedding day, one of the best ways to be prepared is to speak with them on their Covid policies. What happens if they have to shut down their businesses? What if you have to reschedule your wedding day? Do you get the chance to reschedule with them at the same cost? Do you get any refund if you are unable to have your ceremony because of the virus? What kind of precautions are they taking and if they are not, are they willing to upon your request? I cannot stress enough, that if your vendor agrees upon any terms in relation to Covid-19, have it in writing!!! Do not assume that any agreement you make is good based on someone's word. Circumstances can change in a millisecond and you do not want to be on the negative end of a bad deal! 

get a game plan together 

It is always wise to prepare for the worst to happen! In the event that you must postpone your wedding, have a backup plan in place. Know that it may be weeks or months before you are able to have your ceremony/reception, and make sure that your vendors are willing to work with you on moving your date, or if not, have an idea of who you might contact in their stead. I actually coordinated a wedding in 2020 where the bride and groom eloped in the spring and had their celebration in the fall! There are options for you and that is a beautiful thing. Don't wait until you are watching the news and there is a mandated shut down to get a new course of action together.

Think of your guests Pt 1 

In normal circumstances, when you send out your invitations you can usually estimate the approximate guest count with some accuracy. There is somewhat of a graph we use to determine RSVPS vs. guest count- You send out 100 invitations, you get back approx. 60 attending RSVPs, you should expect 50 of your RSVPs to actually attend and another approx. 25 who did not RSVP to attend. Most likely, roughly 80-85% of your guests will come to the wedding. (resources: RSVPify.com, womangettingmarried.com) However, those numbers may be skewed in the face of the unpredictable virus. These numbers may be cut tremendously. With that being said, it is vital to keep in close contact with your guests once the invitations are sent out. Be prepared to have a smaller event, and make sure that your contract with your vendors contains a final date for you to make changes without being penalized. 

Think of your Guests PT 2 

Once you arrive to your wedding date, there will most likely be some precautions you want to install for your guests' comfort and safety. The weddings I have been to during the pandemic were in the summer and fall, when most people stay fairly well minus allergies. You may want to encourage your guests in some tactful shape or form that if they are feeling unwell, it would be much appreciated if they did not attend. Many brides are opting to have live streaming for guests who are unable to come to their wedding. You may even have excess sanitizer on deck and in various areas of your venue. Another great option to insure that there is a controlled environment to reduce spread is having your guests served their meals rather than a buffet style catering. This is a way to cut down on contamination. You can require masks, although, you may have some guests who are unable to wear them or won't wear them, but also for photography reasons or other reasons unlisted, this may not be an option for you. Just know there is nothing wrong with that. Just keep in mind other tactics you can use to keep your guests safe. They are there to celebrate YOU after all! 

The Gift Registry: What to Expect When You're Expecting...

Good morning, gorgeous bride-to-be or avid reader!

Currently, my mood is "get to work while the baby is sleeping." So I started a crockpot roast this for supper, emptied/loaded my dishwasher, started brainstorming ideas for this column, and now I'm typing away drinking my Sunday morning coffee. Usually we would be at church right now; however, Easton has a tiny bug so we are home letting him recover. I've been thinking of something that would be a topic of interest and one thing came to mind: the gift registry. 

Going off on a tiny rabbit trail here. When you create your guest list, of course it is important to have addresses for RSVPs. It's also important for you to have them for Thank You cards as well! 

One of my biggest flaws and a huge secret I have kept all these years is when I planned my own wedding four years ago, I had an awful time keeping track of this list I made. The list had on it the names of my family and friends who graciously sent Ryan and I wedding gifts. I believe I got at least half of them out before losing my list! That's right, you heard me! I made a mistake. We were in the process of moving into our new home (which we closed on a couple of days after returning from our honeymoon.) I was so upset when this happened, and wouldn't you know, I just found it the other day. Rummaging through boxes of papers and cards, there it was staring back at me. I felt a horrible sense of guilt and really wanted to send them out. But I felt that it would be tacky at this point. "Hey here's your thank you card from almost four years ago. By the way, how's the family!?" Of course I wouldn't write that in the card, but I felt that's how it would look to the recipient. So I decided against it. Hopefully the people that didn't receive a card from me hold no ill will. It really was an honest mistake. But I am telling you this now so that you can do a better job than I did before becoming a wedding planner even crossed my mind. So rule of thumb, when you get a gift, have a small notebook handy that you can jot down the name of the person who gave it to you + the type of gift it was. I've done much better with my baby gift thank you cards! 

So, moving forward. 

Since I spent some time in my kitchen this morning, I started seeing some things we had put on our online wedding registries that people had gotten for us, and I decided to make that my topic for this week. Now of course if this is your first marriage (It happens. Some people get married more than once), you really do have a lot to think of purchasing to make it an easy transition for you and your spouse as you begin your lives together. Although in this day and age, couples are waiting longer to get married- usually the bride and groom are in their late 20's or early 30's. Careers happen, people want to make money, travel, and be independent for a while! So most of the time when this is the case, you already have some of the things you need to live on your own. So what do you need to expect from your guests when building your wedding registry? 

1. People don't always buy from it. You sometimes will have guests, especially those without internet, to purchase items they think you need or want, even if it isn't on the registry. We've all had it happen. If you don't need it, don't tell them that. They just wanted to give you something they thought would be helpful or useful. Just take it with a smile, and if you don't need it, there is always the option of regifting or exchanging it if they gave you a receipt. Still be gracious! 

2. Sometimes, you will get doubles! You will have two of the same thing. This might have been useful on Noah's Arc, but of course you don't need two toasters, or two sets of silverware (although really great if you plan to have a large family!)  

3. Guests will regift. Even some of your guests still have that extra crockpot or can opener laying around in their kitchen collecting dust. Or that afghan that just doesn't go with their decor. 

4. Sometimes, you won't like what you get. But that's the beauty of free will. You don't have to use it or keep it, just be kind and appreciative regardless. 

5. People will just come to your wedding for the food, drinks, and the cake... Some won't bring a gift at all. These people aren't uncaring, they just like showing up to the party. You'll have that, but it'll be fine because then you can do the same when they get married!!! (SN: That is a joke. I don't condone the 'eye for an eye' mentality.) 

But Why Have a Wedding Planner?

Until recently, I haven't really been a part of the wedding scene for quite some time. I did my first wedding since having my son in January of this year with the wedding being in April. I felt like I had to really buckle down and get reacquainted with everything wedding related to get back in gear. It has been simultaneously fun and hectic because there are so many different aspects to concern yourself with as a wedding planner. Now, before you begin reading well into this article, one of the disclaimers I must make you aware of is this: I may be a little bias since I AM a wedding planner after all; however, nothing that I tell you is false information. I take my career choice very seriously and try to steer all of my brides in the right direction at all times!

People ask me frequently, "Why should I hire a wedding planner? What will they help me accomplish?" It isn't a silly question. I mean, if you are the bride, it's your wedding day. You want every single thing to be perfect. You want the wedding that you've always dreamed of since you were a little girl to become a real 24 hour celebration of your love! I really do understand why people think that it isn't necessary to hire a planner. The internet is such a beautiful and easily accessible tool. It can provide anyone with endless information needed to put together a fabulous event. It is a resource to locate resources. An idea that can combine ideas. Something that with a touch of a button, a multitude of planning concepts can be created and brought to life. So, truly, why hire a wedding planner!? 

Well, picture yourself planning your own wedding, especially if you are not an organized person in general. You have one year to plan a celebration that includes a guest list of 150 people, and you also work a full-time job. You want something simple, yet elegant. You aren't really "high maintenance", but because you do want something elegant, you need to do your research on places that would fit 150 people plus give your wedding day an elegant touch. You have no idea where to begin, and even if you did, you wouldn't have the time to spend setting up appointments or doing the research on the 100+ vendors in your area. So, here are reasons to get in touch with a wedding planner NOW! 

1. Tag-Teaming: As the cliché saying goes "two heads are better than one", and it is nothing short of the truth! Planning any event can be exhausting. When you add 50+ people in the mix, the workload adds up as well! Having someone with your best interests in mind help you with your wedding tasks will take some of the load off of your shoulders. In turn, you'll be able to enjoy this fleeting time in your life as a lovely engaged bride-to-be! 

2. Someone to Read Between the Lines: To have a huge celebration, you really need to hire businesses to help bring it to life! Catering, DJs/Live Bands, Cake Bakers, Photographers, etc. are a must and typically when you book these services, there is a business contract involved. Having someone to help you read the fine print will keep you from dealing with major setbacks on your wedding day. 

3. Someone to Be the Middle Man: Family members not getting along can sometimes put a damper on happy days such as this, especially when they are close to you or your groom! Divorces happen, arguments continue on, and sometimes those same people end up at the same party. If you are trying to keep the peace... well, you really shouldn't have to because it is your wedding day, and no one else takes priority over the marrying couple! Your wedding planner is basically "Switzerland", taking on the task of mediating soured relationships, keeping feuds at bay, and if necessary, being the wedding bouncer! It is sad but true that some people cannot let up for even just one day of a friend/family member's happiness. 

4. Taking Stress Out of the Equation: Wedding Planners are therapists, confidants, and friends, and they just want you to have the wedding that you desperately want in your heart of hearts without all the stress. This bullet really speaks for itself. 

5. Wedding Day Coordination: Do you really want to be the one to focus on when other people start walking down the isle? Where and how they stand? What music is to be played? How quickly everyone should walk? How about the reception and the order of the events to be held? When to do the first dance and garter toss? When to cut the cake? As a bride, if you have no one helping you plan your wedding, you should at least have someone coordinate it! Having someone initiate these events is so vital to the flow of the ceremony and reception. 

I promised at the beginning of this article that I would not lie to you nor steer you in the wrong direction. When you do have a wedding planner, it is vital to build a strong relationship with that person, because you will be on this journey together. Whether someone chooses me to help them with their wedding or someone else, a good wedding planner, no matter how experienced, will be the equivalent of a good friend. 

So, don't stress. Hire a wedding planner! 

Springtime Floral Trends

Flowers.

They are the staple that sets the tone for weddings. Bouquets, centerpieces, and other forms of floral arrangements give life to ceremonies and receptions alike by creating a life-time of visual and scent-related memories. Below are some of the hottest trends for springtime florals as of 2017.

1. Fairytale Frondescence:

Garlands such as seeded eucalyptus add so much luminosity 

and novelty to reception tables. They bring life and conversation to 

party as well as delightful scents.

2. Branches That Steal the Show: 

Branches like dogwood, forsythia, or cherry blossoms create

spaciousness to the ceremonial location as well as the reception area.

Place the high-reaching bundles on the reception tables to create 

some serious height and elegance.

3. Fresh-cut Stems: 

Choose in-season flowers to place in bouquets and centerpieces.

Peonies, pink gerber daisies, and sweet peas are fantastic

spring choices that will exude brightness and charm.

The decision to use flowers in bloom will usually be more accessible

than flowers not in season and will also usually cost much less.

Reference: "11 Must See Wedding Trends" by Andrea Fowler from theknot.com

Planning On A Penny-Pinching Budget

July 28th, 2013, Ryan asked me to marry him. We set our date for September 20, 2014. When we started planning for our wedding, I was working part-time at a grocery store Starbucks, and he was working his way up in his welding career. At the time, we had very little money- especially since I only had part-time work. Fortunately, my parents were gracious enough to pay for most of our wedding wants and needs along with one of our family friends, who so sweetly pitched in more money than I felt we deserved. With the money they put aside for our wedding and the money we spent also, our budget total came out to approximately $5,000. In retrospect, that seems like it would take care of everything and there would be money left over for the honeymoon, or even just for a savings account after the wedding; however, the price of planning nuptials is at its all-time high- In the years 2014-2015, U.S. weddings averaged out to approximately $30,000 when all was said and done (according to a survey done by theknot.com). That means that the national budget was six times the budget we set for ourselves when we said our "I Do's". It seems impossible that a beautiful wedding could be brought to life with those statistics, but I believe it can happen. As a matter of fact, we made it happen. With these few budgeting suggestions, you can plan your wedding without breaking the bank.

• Itemize Your Spendings♥︎ The best place to start when you are trying to piece together a working budget is to categorize the different aspects that create a wedding and separate your spendings into these categories with the total being equivalent to or less than your budget total. When I did this, it really made decision-making much simpler. I was able to pick and choose where most of my funds went. When you itemize, you can decide what you are able to spend extra on, where you may cut corners, and what you may want to or need to cut out completely. For me, I chose to set aside more for my photography and catering. Photographs are the windows to memories that may be long forgotten decades later. I wanted our wedding day captured perfectly so that I could share them with my grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and the memories would live on even when we were no longer around. I also wanted our guests to enjoy being apart of our wedding day and be well taken care of, so I put aside a larger sum for catering so that we could make that happen. Being aware of the different areas your finances are going will keep you on track and focused on your ultimate goals. 
• Keep Track♥︎ Whether you type up a spreadsheet, keep your receipts, or write your numbers on a piece of paper, you will always want to keep a record of your spendings. Losing track of them  defeats the purpose of even having a budget, and could put you in danger of going way over the limits you have set for yourself. I kept a binder full of contracts, inspirations, ideas, receipts, my guest lists, and my working budget to stay organized for the entirety of our engagement. It worked like a charm, and in my opinion, it is definitely a vital part of planning on a tight budget.  
• Borrow Instead of Purchasing♥︎ If you can avoid buying decorations, utensils/plates/cups, tule/burlap/flowers, etc. do it! If you know someone who is willing to let you borrow their used wedding supplies, borrow them. Renting can also save money but if not done cautiously, it could add up over time. Borrowing allows you to save money and to save space after your wedding. There are even websites that allow former brides to sell their used wedding goods for an affordable price, and you can also check out wholesale sites, thrift shops and yard sales for your needs at lower prices.
• Look Into Up-and-Coming Vendors♥︎ Every vendor who has five stars next to their business name had to start from the bottom, and at the bottom, they could only charge so much for their services until they got their name out into the open and moved up in status. These rising vendors will usually advertise by word of mouth and portfolios. They know they will need to prove themselves for them to get their name into their desired industry and will usually give large price breaks to their clients. With that being said, always do research, ask local people who know about the vendor or have used them before, and always sign a legal contract before considering this option for your budget.
• DIY♥︎ Being a DIY bride myself, I always did research before I dove into a project. Doing certain things yourself can add up to costing more than what it would to have a professional do it for you or buying your needs instead of making them. My ceremony and reception was loaded with DIY projects- from my invitations to my table cloths, there were many things I and others did by hand to save money for our wedding day. It takes dedication and time, but if you have that, you can easily make your money back without spending it to begin with by going this route. 
• Be Mindful of Your Limits♥︎ There is nothing more important to remember than this. Knowing your financial limits is the least exciting part of planning, but it will save you heartache when you are not in debt over your wedding day. When you plan your working budget, it definitely needs to work for your bank account. Money can become the most stressful factor in life if you lose control of it. Losing control usually starts with the guest list. The number of guests on the invitation list really decides a lot of your budget, especially for your reception. Catering can add up to being $30.00 a head, and the venue and seating can become costly as well. If you keep control of your guest list, chances are you will have even more control of your budget.  

There are many other ways to cut your budget down to fit your financial situation, but these are the approaches that I took to give life to our wedding without squeezing the life out of our checking accounts! The most vital thing to remember when planning is to do what works for you and keep your money on your mind at all times. It is completely possible to plan the wedding that you've always dreamed of having, even on a tight budget.

For a little extra inspiration, the photos below are a few finished results of our DIY efforts for our own wedding. (credits: Jennifer Denney Photography)