Make Your "I Do's" Personal!

Any wedding you attend is most likely going to go in the same direction... There's the pre-ceremony music playing as guests find their seat for the next 30 or so minutes, then the processional, then the ceremony (where most likely, the bride is given away by someone special, the introduction by the officiant, the vows, the rings, and the kiss, followed by the recessional and the dismissal of guests to the reception hall).  They are all pretty similar. So, how do we customize our ceremony to fit our relationship's unique style? Is it possible to make it different without leaving out tradition? Do we even want tradition? Well if you're looking for some things that you can do to make your gathering a little more intimate and personal, just keep reading! 

▹ Write your own vows: I know. This seems a little cliché, but it is effective! I wouldn't go on writing a 2 page essay to read aloud that drags on and on. Short, sweet and to the point is just as beautiful as lengthy compositions about how you feel about your soulmate. 

▹ The Reading portion of your ceremony: Once your officiant opens the ceremony, you could have them add in something meaningful to you such as a poem, an excerpt of Biblical scripture, or a short story specific to your relationship. This is less for your audience to hear and more for you as the wedded couple to share for decades to come as you look back on your wedding day. 

▹ Do a Unity ritual: Really, having a ceremony is a ritual in itself, but adding a quick binding ritual to the event will really emphasize how meaningful the bond is that you and your spouse share. 

    - A few examples: 

    ▹ Tree-Planting: Husband and wife add soil to a potted tree to possibly be replanted in their own backyard! The 

      planting of the tree symbolizes that if one nurtures and cares for their marriage, they will experience 

      growth and the roots will strengthen in their lives together.  

    ▹ Wine Ceremony: Take a sip from a single glass of wine, one sip for the times of bitterness and one for the

       times of sweetness. Symbolic to the promise that the marriage  will thrive in the good times and the bad!

    ▹ Hour Glass Ceremony: Similar to the Sand Ritual, however, add the sands into an hourglass, and 

       every year turn the hourglass over. As time passes, the different sands mix even more with each turn. 

    ▹ Handfasting Ceremony: It is an old timeless tradition and of course meaningful! Use ropes or 

       chords, or according to Maria Northcott, you don't need anything but your hands! This ritual consists 

       of wrapping the ropes around the wrists, binding them together to symbolize that these hands you are 

       holding are the ones that will be holding you for a lifetime, that you are becoming one and you are

       also joining your families together. 

    ▹ Rope Passing Ceremony: This involves knotted ropes being passed through the crowd of guests during the

       ceremony, where will their blessings and love into the marriage and pray over the couple. This one might be 

       difficult to do during Covid times, but maybe have the closest relatives or a couple of family 

       representatives involved so as not to have the entire crowd touch the ropes. I love the idea of having

       the matriarchs/patriarchs of each family pass the rope! 

    ▹ Washing of Feet Ceremony: This one is more biblical, but it could be used in a non-religious ceremony as 

       well. In the Bible, Jesus washed his disciples feet. This was something very symbolic of his love for people, 

       as in biblical times, feet were to be washed before entering homes because they were seen as dirty (and 

       usually were dirty). It is a sign of love, but also a sign of submission to your love for one another. It can be 

       used as an analogy of how, as a spouse, you will love, care for, and show kindness to your spouse, even 

       when it isn't ideal. 

    ▹ Picture Painting Ceremony: Have a canvas ready at the altar with two cups of paint for the bride and groom

       pour across the canvas in unison. The painting itself might be a keepsake the couple could hang in their new

      home, but the meaning behind the painting would be one of unity, signifying that they are creating a

      masterpiece together, and living in a permanent bond, just as the paint is permanently bonded to the canvas!

There are so many more ritualistic ways to demonstrate the unity between the husband and wife in their ceremony. The most important thing to remember is to find something that will never escape your memory because it was so intimate and personal to you and your spouse! When we personalize our wedding day, it truly allows us to look back, especially in the hard times, and cherish our spouse even more. 

Resources: 

▹ https://www.asweetstart.com/blog/unity-wedding-ceremony-ideas

▹ https://www.marthastewart.com/7925957/wedding-ceremony-rituals-unity?utm_source=pinterest.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=social-share-gallery&utm_content=20200806&slide=550b6bee-e102-49f6-a04d-0a2838da164b#550b6bee-e102-49f6-a04d-0a2838da164b

How to Plan a Wedding in a Pandemic- Advice from A Wedding Coordinator

There is an endless array of issues that brides must take into consideration when planning the biggest event of their lives, and I am sure that many never expected a pandemic to be one of them! Planning a wedding is no easy feat in itself, but add the possibility that someone could get sick at your reception, and you have a recipe for extra worry. The infection numbers are scary, and no end seems to be directly in sight. So what do you do as a bride to prepare for a wedding in the midst of a pandemic!? 

First, do not panic 

This is completely out of your control! It is easier said than done, but remaining focused on the end goal of the planning process will help to ease your mind. Don't get caught up in the panic of society. Instead, keep thinking beautiful thoughts of your wedding day. As long as you are married 24 hours late, you have nothing to fear! It will be an amazing day for you no matter the external circumstances! 

discuss in-depth plans with your vendors 

When hiring vendors for your wedding day, one of the best ways to be prepared is to speak with them on their Covid policies. What happens if they have to shut down their businesses? What if you have to reschedule your wedding day? Do you get the chance to reschedule with them at the same cost? Do you get any refund if you are unable to have your ceremony because of the virus? What kind of precautions are they taking and if they are not, are they willing to upon your request? I cannot stress enough, that if your vendor agrees upon any terms in relation to Covid-19, have it in writing!!! Do not assume that any agreement you make is good based on someone's word. Circumstances can change in a millisecond and you do not want to be on the negative end of a bad deal! 

get a game plan together 

It is always wise to prepare for the worst to happen! In the event that you must postpone your wedding, have a backup plan in place. Know that it may be weeks or months before you are able to have your ceremony/reception, and make sure that your vendors are willing to work with you on moving your date, or if not, have an idea of who you might contact in their stead. I actually coordinated a wedding in 2020 where the bride and groom eloped in the spring and had their celebration in the fall! There are options for you and that is a beautiful thing. Don't wait until you are watching the news and there is a mandated shut down to get a new course of action together.

Think of your guests Pt 1 

In normal circumstances, when you send out your invitations you can usually estimate the approximate guest count with some accuracy. There is somewhat of a graph we use to determine RSVPS vs. guest count- You send out 100 invitations, you get back approx. 60 attending RSVPs, you should expect 50 of your RSVPs to actually attend and another approx. 25 who did not RSVP to attend. Most likely, roughly 80-85% of your guests will come to the wedding. (resources: RSVPify.com, womangettingmarried.com) However, those numbers may be skewed in the face of the unpredictable virus. These numbers may be cut tremendously. With that being said, it is vital to keep in close contact with your guests once the invitations are sent out. Be prepared to have a smaller event, and make sure that your contract with your vendors contains a final date for you to make changes without being penalized. 

Think of your Guests PT 2 

Once you arrive to your wedding date, there will most likely be some precautions you want to install for your guests' comfort and safety. The weddings I have been to during the pandemic were in the summer and fall, when most people stay fairly well minus allergies. You may want to encourage your guests in some tactful shape or form that if they are feeling unwell, it would be much appreciated if they did not attend. Many brides are opting to have live streaming for guests who are unable to come to their wedding. You may even have excess sanitizer on deck and in various areas of your venue. Another great option to insure that there is a controlled environment to reduce spread is having your guests served their meals rather than a buffet style catering. This is a way to cut down on contamination. You can require masks, although, you may have some guests who are unable to wear them or won't wear them, but also for photography reasons or other reasons unlisted, this may not be an option for you. Just know there is nothing wrong with that. Just keep in mind other tactics you can use to keep your guests safe. They are there to celebrate YOU after all!