The Gift Registry: What to Expect When You're Expecting...

Good morning, gorgeous bride-to-be or avid reader!

Currently, my mood is "get to work while the baby is sleeping." So I started a crockpot roast this for supper, emptied/loaded my dishwasher, started brainstorming ideas for this column, and now I'm typing away drinking my Sunday morning coffee. Usually we would be at church right now; however, Easton has a tiny bug so we are home letting him recover. I've been thinking of something that would be a topic of interest and one thing came to mind: the gift registry. 

Going off on a tiny rabbit trail here. When you create your guest list, of course it is important to have addresses for RSVPs. It's also important for you to have them for Thank You cards as well! 

One of my biggest flaws and a huge secret I have kept all these years is when I planned my own wedding four years ago, I had an awful time keeping track of this list I made. The list had on it the names of my family and friends who graciously sent Ryan and I wedding gifts. I believe I got at least half of them out before losing my list! That's right, you heard me! I made a mistake. We were in the process of moving into our new home (which we closed on a couple of days after returning from our honeymoon.) I was so upset when this happened, and wouldn't you know, I just found it the other day. Rummaging through boxes of papers and cards, there it was staring back at me. I felt a horrible sense of guilt and really wanted to send them out. But I felt that it would be tacky at this point. "Hey here's your thank you card from almost four years ago. By the way, how's the family!?" Of course I wouldn't write that in the card, but I felt that's how it would look to the recipient. So I decided against it. Hopefully the people that didn't receive a card from me hold no ill will. It really was an honest mistake. But I am telling you this now so that you can do a better job than I did before becoming a wedding planner even crossed my mind. So rule of thumb, when you get a gift, have a small notebook handy that you can jot down the name of the person who gave it to you + the type of gift it was. I've done much better with my baby gift thank you cards! 

So, moving forward. 

Since I spent some time in my kitchen this morning, I started seeing some things we had put on our online wedding registries that people had gotten for us, and I decided to make that my topic for this week. Now of course if this is your first marriage (It happens. Some people get married more than once), you really do have a lot to think of purchasing to make it an easy transition for you and your spouse as you begin your lives together. Although in this day and age, couples are waiting longer to get married- usually the bride and groom are in their late 20's or early 30's. Careers happen, people want to make money, travel, and be independent for a while! So most of the time when this is the case, you already have some of the things you need to live on your own. So what do you need to expect from your guests when building your wedding registry? 

1. People don't always buy from it. You sometimes will have guests, especially those without internet, to purchase items they think you need or want, even if it isn't on the registry. We've all had it happen. If you don't need it, don't tell them that. They just wanted to give you something they thought would be helpful or useful. Just take it with a smile, and if you don't need it, there is always the option of regifting or exchanging it if they gave you a receipt. Still be gracious! 

2. Sometimes, you will get doubles! You will have two of the same thing. This might have been useful on Noah's Arc, but of course you don't need two toasters, or two sets of silverware (although really great if you plan to have a large family!)  

3. Guests will regift. Even some of your guests still have that extra crockpot or can opener laying around in their kitchen collecting dust. Or that afghan that just doesn't go with their decor. 

4. Sometimes, you won't like what you get. But that's the beauty of free will. You don't have to use it or keep it, just be kind and appreciative regardless. 

5. People will just come to your wedding for the food, drinks, and the cake... Some won't bring a gift at all. These people aren't uncaring, they just like showing up to the party. You'll have that, but it'll be fine because then you can do the same when they get married!!! (SN: That is a joke. I don't condone the 'eye for an eye' mentality.) 

But Why Have a Wedding Planner?

Until recently, I haven't really been a part of the wedding scene for quite some time. I did my first wedding since having my son in January of this year with the wedding being in April. I felt like I had to really buckle down and get reacquainted with everything wedding related to get back in gear. It has been simultaneously fun and hectic because there are so many different aspects to concern yourself with as a wedding planner. Now, before you begin reading well into this article, one of the disclaimers I must make you aware of is this: I may be a little bias since I AM a wedding planner after all; however, nothing that I tell you is false information. I take my career choice very seriously and try to steer all of my brides in the right direction at all times!

People ask me frequently, "Why should I hire a wedding planner? What will they help me accomplish?" It isn't a silly question. I mean, if you are the bride, it's your wedding day. You want every single thing to be perfect. You want the wedding that you've always dreamed of since you were a little girl to become a real 24 hour celebration of your love! I really do understand why people think that it isn't necessary to hire a planner. The internet is such a beautiful and easily accessible tool. It can provide anyone with endless information needed to put together a fabulous event. It is a resource to locate resources. An idea that can combine ideas. Something that with a touch of a button, a multitude of planning concepts can be created and brought to life. So, truly, why hire a wedding planner!? 

Well, picture yourself planning your own wedding, especially if you are not an organized person in general. You have one year to plan a celebration that includes a guest list of 150 people, and you also work a full-time job. You want something simple, yet elegant. You aren't really "high maintenance", but because you do want something elegant, you need to do your research on places that would fit 150 people plus give your wedding day an elegant touch. You have no idea where to begin, and even if you did, you wouldn't have the time to spend setting up appointments or doing the research on the 100+ vendors in your area. So, here are reasons to get in touch with a wedding planner NOW! 

1. Tag-Teaming: As the cliché saying goes "two heads are better than one", and it is nothing short of the truth! Planning any event can be exhausting. When you add 50+ people in the mix, the workload adds up as well! Having someone with your best interests in mind help you with your wedding tasks will take some of the load off of your shoulders. In turn, you'll be able to enjoy this fleeting time in your life as a lovely engaged bride-to-be! 

2. Someone to Read Between the Lines: To have a huge celebration, you really need to hire businesses to help bring it to life! Catering, DJs/Live Bands, Cake Bakers, Photographers, etc. are a must and typically when you book these services, there is a business contract involved. Having someone to help you read the fine print will keep you from dealing with major setbacks on your wedding day. 

3. Someone to Be the Middle Man: Family members not getting along can sometimes put a damper on happy days such as this, especially when they are close to you or your groom! Divorces happen, arguments continue on, and sometimes those same people end up at the same party. If you are trying to keep the peace... well, you really shouldn't have to because it is your wedding day, and no one else takes priority over the marrying couple! Your wedding planner is basically "Switzerland", taking on the task of mediating soured relationships, keeping feuds at bay, and if necessary, being the wedding bouncer! It is sad but true that some people cannot let up for even just one day of a friend/family member's happiness. 

4. Taking Stress Out of the Equation: Wedding Planners are therapists, confidants, and friends, and they just want you to have the wedding that you desperately want in your heart of hearts without all the stress. This bullet really speaks for itself. 

5. Wedding Day Coordination: Do you really want to be the one to focus on when other people start walking down the isle? Where and how they stand? What music is to be played? How quickly everyone should walk? How about the reception and the order of the events to be held? When to do the first dance and garter toss? When to cut the cake? As a bride, if you have no one helping you plan your wedding, you should at least have someone coordinate it! Having someone initiate these events is so vital to the flow of the ceremony and reception. 

I promised at the beginning of this article that I would not lie to you nor steer you in the wrong direction. When you do have a wedding planner, it is vital to build a strong relationship with that person, because you will be on this journey together. Whether someone chooses me to help them with their wedding or someone else, a good wedding planner, no matter how experienced, will be the equivalent of a good friend. 

So, don't stress. Hire a wedding planner!