Any wedding you attend is most likely going to go in the same direction... There's the pre-ceremony music playing as guests find their seat for the next 30 or so minutes, then the processional, then the ceremony (where most likely, the bride is given away by someone special, the introduction by the officiant, the vows, the rings, and the kiss, followed by the recessional and the dismissal of guests to the reception hall). They are all pretty similar. So, how do we customize our ceremony to fit our relationship's unique style? Is it possible to make it different without leaving out tradition? Do we even want tradition? Well if you're looking for some things that you can do to make your gathering a little more intimate and personal, just keep reading!
▹ Write your own vows: I know. This seems a little cliché, but it is effective! I wouldn't go on writing a 2 page essay to read aloud that drags on and on. Short, sweet and to the point is just as beautiful as lengthy compositions about how you feel about your soulmate.
▹ The Reading portion of your ceremony: Once your officiant opens the ceremony, you could have them add in something meaningful to you such as a poem, an excerpt of Biblical scripture, or a short story specific to your relationship. This is less for your audience to hear and more for you as the wedded couple to share for decades to come as you look back on your wedding day.
▹ Do a Unity ritual: Really, having a ceremony is a ritual in itself, but adding a quick binding ritual to the event will really emphasize how meaningful the bond is that you and your spouse share.
- A few examples:
▹ Tree-Planting: Husband and wife add soil to a potted tree to possibly be replanted in their own backyard! The
planting of the tree symbolizes that if one nurtures and cares for their marriage, they will experience
growth and the roots will strengthen in their lives together.
▹ Wine Ceremony: Take a sip from a single glass of wine, one sip for the times of bitterness and one for the
times of sweetness. Symbolic to the promise that the marriage will thrive in the good times and the bad!
▹ Hour Glass Ceremony: Similar to the Sand Ritual, however, add the sands into an hourglass, and
every year turn the hourglass over. As time passes, the different sands mix even more with each turn.
▹ Handfasting Ceremony: It is an old timeless tradition and of course meaningful! Use ropes or
chords, or according to Maria Northcott, you don't need anything but your hands! This ritual consists
of wrapping the ropes around the wrists, binding them together to symbolize that these hands you are
holding are the ones that will be holding you for a lifetime, that you are becoming one and you are
also joining your families together.
▹ Rope Passing Ceremony: This involves knotted ropes being passed through the crowd of guests during the
ceremony, where will their blessings and love into the marriage and pray over the couple. This one might be
difficult to do during Covid times, but maybe have the closest relatives or a couple of family
representatives involved so as not to have the entire crowd touch the ropes. I love the idea of having
the matriarchs/patriarchs of each family pass the rope!
▹ Washing of Feet Ceremony: This one is more biblical, but it could be used in a non-religious ceremony as
well. In the Bible, Jesus washed his disciples feet. This was something very symbolic of his love for people,
as in biblical times, feet were to be washed before entering homes because they were seen as dirty (and
usually were dirty). It is a sign of love, but also a sign of submission to your love for one another. It can be
used as an analogy of how, as a spouse, you will love, care for, and show kindness to your spouse, even
when it isn't ideal.
▹ Picture Painting Ceremony: Have a canvas ready at the altar with two cups of paint for the bride and groom
pour across the canvas in unison. The painting itself might be a keepsake the couple could hang in their new
home, but the meaning behind the painting would be one of unity, signifying that they are creating a
masterpiece together, and living in a permanent bond, just as the paint is permanently bonded to the canvas!
There are so many more ritualistic ways to demonstrate the unity between the husband and wife in their ceremony. The most important thing to remember is to find something that will never escape your memory because it was so intimate and personal to you and your spouse! When we personalize our wedding day, it truly allows us to look back, especially in the hard times, and cherish our spouse even more.
Resources:
▹ https://www.asweetstart.com/blog/unity-wedding-ceremony-ideas
▹ https://www.marthastewart.com/7925957/wedding-ceremony-rituals-unity?utm_source=pinterest.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=social-share-gallery&utm_content=20200806&slide=550b6bee-e102-49f6-a04d-0a2838da164b#550b6bee-e102-49f6-a04d-0a2838da164b
